Mom: Chloe's birthday is coming up! Do you think we should go to the water park again?
Kids: YEAH!
Mom: Cool!
Chloe: Mom, are you going to bring your boyfriend?
Mom: My boyfriend?
Chloe: Yeah!
Mom: Uhhhh.... I don't have a boyfriend.
Chloe: Why?
Mom: I don't know! Do you have a boyfriend?
Chloe: Yeah.
Mom: Oh, really? Who is it?
Chloe: Me.
Mom: Oh. Well then I have a boyfriend, too.
Chloe: Who?
Mom: Me!
Chloe: Mom, you're crazy!
Chase: Mom, I have a girlfriend!
Mom: Uh, oh.... Who is your girlfriend?
Chase: Adara!
Mom: Oh, my!
Chase: (closes his eyes and makes a smoochy kissy face)
Mom: Oh, MY....
Chase: (laughing) Booty butt!
Mom: Chase, you know I don't like the word "booty." Classy guys don't say that.
Chloe: Mommy, I'm a classy chick!
Mom: That's right, Chloe. You're a classy chick!
Chase: Hey, I'm a classy chick, too!
Mom: You're a classy guy. A chick is a girl.
Chase: No, I'm a classy chick!
Mom: Oh, so you're a girl?
Chase: Yes!
Mom: Wow, that's weird. Why do you have a penis then?
Chase: Mom, I thought we weren't allowed to say dirty words!
Mom: "Penis" isn't a dirty word. It's a part of your body... like an arm, a leg, a finger....
Chase: (pouting) Why can't I ever say "penis?"
Mom: Well it depends on how you use it. You can say "penis" if you're talking about your body, but you can't just run around saying, "Penis! Penis! Penis!"
Chase: (laughing) Mom, you're crazy....
(Beat. Then, from the peanut gallery....)
Chloe: PENIS! PENIS! PENIS! PENIS! PENIS!
*sigh*
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