Conversations with a 3-Year-Old: Eye for an Eye

So I picked Chase up from daycare yesterday and he was just standing there, crying. I asked him what happened and after he finally calmed down he told me another kid hit him. I said, "Chase, you need to go over there and tell that kid he can't hit you, that it's not nice and you don't like it." He wouldn't do it so I just got him calmed down and we walked out to the car. I have been working so hard to get him to be assertive with his words, so when we got in the car I said, "OK, Chase. So what do you do if someone hits you?" His response:

"Jimmy says I should hit them back and then they won't hurt me anymore."

My jaw just dropped. At three years old he's already learning that it's OK to hit someone if they hit you first. Ummmmm.... NO! So we spent a lot of time in the car on the way home talking about how we don't ever hit back, yadda yadda yadda.

Now I know there are opposing views on this subject out there, but I struggle daily with my middle school students, trying to convince them not to fight. I mean, in the world it doesn't matter who hits who first. Did you hit someone? You're in trouble. In school: You're suspended. In the workplace: You're fired. In life: You're going to jail. My principal gave me this amazing quote that I will never forget:

An eye for an eye makes the whole world blind. -Ghandi

I didn't realize I was going to have to start teaching Chase this lesson so early in his life!