Gumdrops are the Devil

So in the spirit of tradition, I decided to make Chloe's first birthday cake, because it just seems like something you're supposed to do (and I did it for Chase). I am not the domestic type, but there are a few occasions where I decide it's part of my obligation as a mom to try.

I decided to make creative cupcakes for Chloe instead of a cake because it's only going to be us partying (with Dad), and I don't need to eat all the leftovers from a big cake myself (not that Chase would mind helping)!

For Chase's first birthday I made a lion cake, which turned out very well. This year I decided on princess cupcakes and I'm sad to say they did not turn out as well.  OK, I'll just say it: They suck.  When I made Chase's cake I made a list of the things I learned in the process. So, in the spirit of tradition (again), I decided to make a list of things I learned during this process.  Here goes:

1. When you go to the store to get all the ingredients for your cupcakes, check your pantry before you leave.
2. If you're standing in the grocery store thinking, "I'm almost positive I have vegetable oil at home," you don't.  Buy some.
3. The convenience store carries vegetable oil.  And lottery tickets (so you can pay someone to make your cupcakes next time).
4. Gumdrops are not meant for rolling with a rolling pin.
5. It doesn't help if you coat them with sugar. It just makes a horrible crunching sound.
6. It doesn't help if you microwave them. You probably could have told me that before I tried it.
7. Squishing microwaved gumdrops with your finger after 15 seconds on high will produce a visible burn.
8. Hot gumdrops stick to wax paper and rolling pins.
9. Crunching sugar on hot gumdrops rips wax paper.
10. When you've had enough of gumdrop rolling, you may think, "Fruit roll-ups are already flat!  I'll try those!"
11. Fruit roll-ups on cupcakes look ghetto.
12. When you're about to throw gumdrops at the wall you don't care anymore if your daughter's cupcakes look ghetto.
13. You will feel like a terrible mother for not caring whether or not your daughter's first birthday cupcakes look ghetto.
14. You know it's bad when your 4-year-old tells you the fruit roll-ups on the cupcakes look stupid. 
15. 4-year-olds are not good helpers.

The recipe called for rolling out gumdrops into 6" circles to make the princess dresses.  It about killed me.  I got two princesses done and then did the rest with fruit roll-ups.  Not cute, but good for my sanity.  At one point I said through clenched teeth, "Chase, I am about to scream!"  I turned to look at him and he had his fingers in his ears, preparing for the worst.

Chase tried to "help."  Which really meant he sat there playing with all the materials and asking a million questions:

Mom, can I have a gumdrop?
Mom, the paper is ripping!
Mom, why is the paper ripping?
Mom, the gumdrops are stuck on the rolling pin!
Mom, why are the gumdrops stuck on the rolling pin?
Mom, can I eat the gumdrops that are stuck on the rolling pin?
Mom, why can't I eat the gumdrops?
Mom, why are you getting frustrated?
Mom, can I have a gumdrop?

You get the point.

At any rate, they are done.  I totally improvised on so many things, but I like to think of it as a nod to my fabulous creativity, not my laziness and lack of patience.

Here is what they should have looked like (I debated even posting this, because it really shows just how bad mine are in comparison, but whatever):

Here is one of the two I completed with the gumdrop dresses (they didn't need sleeves... it's summer):

And here are the rest (just be grateful they are clothed at all):

Not winning "Mom of the Year" for this one. And the sad part is these crappy looking things (only SIX of them) took me all day to create.

Sorry, Chloe!  I tried!  (It's the thought that counts?)